funny stuff

Been collecting photos of hilarious bathroom "art" and other weird stuff. In Alabama we met a wild cat that lives outside of a gas station, hangs around by the trashcan. He was a trashcat. Hard to get close to.

Florida is the BEST state we've ever been on tour to. All our shows and all the people are SOOO FUN!!! Reminds us of oakland. We ate alligator at a harley davidson swamp bar. Orlando is chock full of wild street freaks, a hobo with a monk haircut, idiot tweenage crust punks with no shoes who can barely talk cos they've been trashed for days (there's a pic of the "vagina" graffitti on his back).

Note the pic of the hilarious Buzz Lightyear (maybe?) pinata at the bottom, at a goodwill in Gainsville, FL.

-Cody

Memphis

This will probably read like a crumby Yelp, but we discovered the worst "restaurant" in all of Tulsa (possibly the whole country) yesterday morning. We wandered bravely, like the pioneers of old, across the great plains in search of snacks, and into a gigantic Mediterranean deli & coffee shop with "Free Wi-Fi". It was enormous and empty inside and run by two moron twins. It looked like a cafeteria made to fit an entire middle school inside, but was empty (save for the two brothers), as if all the students had dropped out of school because the food was so shitty and it was so confusing to place an order. Wifi sign outside was just a marketing gimmick (didn't exist) and they were very perturbed and confused when we asked  for "half & half" for our coffee ("half and half of what?") and sugar, and we had to disturb the older brother and ask him to get up from his conference call (because the other brother only understands sandwich science, and is totally fucking bewildered by coffee questions) to ask for a lid, which seemed to be highly unorthodox. Also, the first cup of coffee they gave us was crammed full of fake hazelnut flavor. So we had to ask specifically for plain ol regular unflavored coffee, also very confusing to the moron bros. I ordered a "Four Cheese & Avocado" sandwich, sounds great right?? Well, if you like brown/black avocado smeared onto ice cold shredded cheddar and monterey jack cheese slathered with creamy italian dressing and iceberg lettuce, all cruddily shoved into a bread roll pulled from a Subway dumpster, and you happen to be in Tulsa, then you are one lucky idiot. The stupid lid they gave us for our coffee had a crack in it and it exploded all over the floor of the van.

The forests of tennessee are weird and beautiful. Fluffy baby pine trees and red leafy trees.We've been amusing ourselves by chasing Grackles around Target parking lots. They are so naughty and make the coolest R2D2 sounds. Buccaneer is cool bar.

I haven't bathed since we left Oakland. Whatever.

-Cody

Memphis

Hello dear readers. Shannon cannot stop reading about serial killers
on her phone, keeps thinking every old creep at every gas station is
gonna kidnap us and turn us into virtual reality slaves or something.
Cody keeps getting laryngitis and a sinus infections, singing like
Harvey Firestein. Our drummer Nate has been eating too many
cheeseburgers and has a stomach problem and smells like corned beef.
Tulsa is SO great you've GOT to go there. There's a great guy there
name Matt Anderson who showed us around and showed us a kick butt
time.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Roswell

In roswell,very weird,there are fugly aliens painted on everthing. Albuquerque was beautiful and so fun. We'll def be back. It snowed on our way outta town. The boys got harassed by a desperately horny mega-trashed well-dressed young creep. Was taking pictures of them and telling them they were "pretty sensual" and cute. As we left,  him and an ancient black hobo with quarters in his ears were the only ones left on the sidewalk. They were talking very close. We like to think they banged in a frosty alley somewhere. The Intelligence was way
awesome again, probably one of  the best sounding live bands ever. Nate from Giant Haystacks made us pancakes in the morning with his 2 kids!!