Memphis

This will probably read like a crumby Yelp, but we discovered the worst "restaurant" in all of Tulsa (possibly the whole country) yesterday morning. We wandered bravely, like the pioneers of old, across the great plains in search of snacks, and into a gigantic Mediterranean deli & coffee shop with "Free Wi-Fi". It was enormous and empty inside and run by two moron twins. It looked like a cafeteria made to fit an entire middle school inside, but was empty (save for the two brothers), as if all the students had dropped out of school because the food was so shitty and it was so confusing to place an order. Wifi sign outside was just a marketing gimmick (didn't exist) and they were very perturbed and confused when we asked  for "half & half" for our coffee ("half and half of what?") and sugar, and we had to disturb the older brother and ask him to get up from his conference call (because the other brother only understands sandwich science, and is totally fucking bewildered by coffee questions) to ask for a lid, which seemed to be highly unorthodox. Also, the first cup of coffee they gave us was crammed full of fake hazelnut flavor. So we had to ask specifically for plain ol regular unflavored coffee, also very confusing to the moron bros. I ordered a "Four Cheese & Avocado" sandwich, sounds great right?? Well, if you like brown/black avocado smeared onto ice cold shredded cheddar and monterey jack cheese slathered with creamy italian dressing and iceberg lettuce, all cruddily shoved into a bread roll pulled from a Subway dumpster, and you happen to be in Tulsa, then you are one lucky idiot. The stupid lid they gave us for our coffee had a crack in it and it exploded all over the floor of the van.

The forests of tennessee are weird and beautiful. Fluffy baby pine trees and red leafy trees.We've been amusing ourselves by chasing Grackles around Target parking lots. They are so naughty and make the coolest R2D2 sounds. Buccaneer is cool bar.

I haven't bathed since we left Oakland. Whatever.

-Cody